Semantic Compositions

Brunch at the modal buffet

Mrs. SC's birthday comes up in a few days, and tomorrow, we're going for brunch with her parents. As of this writing, though, the question of where remains outstanding. So this post is prompted by a conversation we just had about a possible destination:

Mrs. SC: I don't want to go to the Flying Feast ([not its real name, but it's by an airport -- ed.]) because I don't want an all-you-can-eat buffet. I feel like it means "eat all you can".

SC: But if you ate less, it wouldn't be an all-you-can-eat buffet. It would be an "all-you-feel-like-eating" buffet.

Mrs. SC: No, it would be an "all-you-would-eat" buffet.

So which is it? SC readily buys into the idea that it can't be an all-you-can-eat buffet if you don't eat all you can, but it might not be the case that you eat all you would if you could specify the amount of food in advance. Maybe you're on a diet, and wish there would be some externally-imposed portion control. Or maybe you go out with other people (who goes to a buffet alone?), and feel like you eat less than you otherwise would because you don't want the other people thinking you're a pig. No single modal verb seems to cover all this, though, in any tense -- not "can", not "will", not "shall". Not "could", not "would", not "should".

But somebody would have a great tag line for a competitor to Souplantation if they used the slogan "The all you should eat buffet".

Up and running

Well, it's been much longer than your host expected, but Step 3 Systems is finally about to be more than just a piece of paper sitting in a file cabinet somewhere in the California Department of Corporations. Things that have been accomplished since last there was a posting in this space:

• Step 3's first employee not named SC has signed an employment agreement, and begins work at the beginning of September
• Payroll services went out for competitive bid and have been established
• A timecharging system is in place -- and it runs under Linux! (*Windows is a major operating constraint here, but you can call it Open-Source if you prefer your constraints to be positive)
• Rather than continuing to use the mediocre mail and calendar solutions included in Network Solutions' web hosting package, the company is now using the insanely bargain-priced Google Apps to provide e-mail, calendar and collaborative document services
• The company has a Dun & Bradstreet number and credit file (the establishment of which is very unlike consumer credit)
• The company is now a registered Federal contractor, which is most certainly not where your host plans to take his business in the long run, but which is a sensible thing to do for a variety of other reasons which merit further discussion later

Of course, all of these things don't happen without two other very important things, and they've actually occupied a good 90% of SC's time in the last two months:

• Finishing the business plan
• Raising money

It's funny how that last one determines your ability to do everything else, and yet it's much easier to raise money if you do all the other things first to show that you've got a serious business in place. However, the commitments are very much in place, and SC is very grateful to the angel investors who are making this all work.

You'll be able to find out more about Step 3 Systems' new Chief Software Architect when a short biography goes up on the website at the beginning of September. In the near-term, SC regrets to inform suddenly interested job-seekers that the first position the company will openly be advertising is for a statistician, not a linguist. But if a lot of things go right, SC's planned trip to LSA 2008 will indeed include recruiting.

In the meantime, there are plenty of next steps:

• Hire a patent attorney
• Use said attorney to file patent applications
• Get boards of advisors and directors organized (these are not the same thing -- the advisors are for science, the directors are for business)
• Finish writing the world's first management handbook based on optimality theory (this is not at all a joke, and is part of a very conscious effort on the part of your host to design a successful corporate culture -- for now, just ask yourself how you might use tableauxs in doing performance reviews)
• Keep writing software -- no matter how much other business issues may intrude, this company is about products, and the faster the first one gets to market, the sooner SC can stop thinking about burn rates (speaking of which, good book, if a bit dated)